Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
