Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
