theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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