Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize