I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize