I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize