I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
