GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
