i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
