He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
