He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
