come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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