I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
