bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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