Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
