Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think your dad took our porno
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
