My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
