dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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