so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
