in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
