awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
