"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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