You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
