i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
