i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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