whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize