can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
