Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
