I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize