Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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