The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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