So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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