So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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