I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
