whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize