"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
