He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Randomize