It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
