How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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