wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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