I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize