you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
