this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
