He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this just has baby written all over it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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