Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize