My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
