Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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