You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
this hospital has no fireball
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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