I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
