if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
