She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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