I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize