I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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