covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
