i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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