do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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