how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
