We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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