you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
