Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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