I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
