Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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