I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
