Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
