Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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