Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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